Holier Than the World

Of the many encounters that we come across, we face, we experience and we forget and never in the rest of the life may we ever care to think about them or they surface to memory there is no lesson to be learnt. But some scars root deep and run through our veins as an embodiment of agony, the scars of rejection, the scars of feeling worthless, and the scars of being an alien. You don’t have to look different for that too. Sometimes just the thoughts or even the way of thinking might make you a light years away from the people you lived your entire life with. The traumas that we carry with ourselves for the rest of our lives slowly eat away our mould and what is left is the hollow body of anger and resentment. There might not be a safe haven for the ones who have been touched by the unholy words of hate.

I have often thought about it and expressed as well that we have lost our ways. We no longer know what our course should have been and to the moment we don’t realise and accept it we will never ponder over what should have been done and eventually what we should do! Leave aside the intricacies of complex social behaviours we are flawed to our core and I feel we hardly make an effort to better ourselves. This doesn’t mean that we don’t run after jobs or other things that we collectively aspire to. What it really means is that we don’t tend to reflect upon ourselves and work on getting better at compassion, understanding, collective good, and selflessness.

I have always thought of myself as an emotionally distant being. I took pride sometimes at being shielded from being at the mercy of emotions. I felt protected from the words of the people around me. I felt protected from the events that happened around me. I had just one explanations for it all and it was good enough for me; it was meant to be, it was meant to happen. I fed myself onto the sweet logic of helplessness and its nectar kept my soul fed but at times I was betrayed by me and the words penetrated right into the very core of my existence and shattered whatever remained of a heartless being that was there, leaving behind a mere figment of what might have been a human once. The most hateful thing about it is that you always get knocked down by the people you never had your guard against because you had given them sanctuary into the inner sanctums of trust. A trust that need not be earned but bestowed because you cannot think of anything else but to trust with whatever you have. Some relations are just that special and holier than the world.

Logic fails, emotions flood in. Justify what they have said. Let them assume they are right. Fall to the pits they want to doom you. Let go of the earthly vessel you are imprisoned in. Let the world cease to exist, let one pay the price for what all have done.